2nd Week of 2nd Sem.

Mercu tanda INTEC, Uitm, Shah Alam - Library.

I just got back from Ain's house to consult some mathematical 'difficulties' hehe. Practically her whole family gave it a shot and helped me out ;P In the end, it was her dad who's the Math genius that got it right. Her second brother (who's also called Arief, like my elder bro, Arif) also helped out.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I'm different this sem. I mean I feel TOTALLY okay with college now. Yeap. I no longer brood in my dark moods or succumb to my anxieties in respond to the uncertainities of academic-related stuff. I also no longer count the days to the second waiting for Fridays (to go back home for the weekends). I've also stopped obsessing over my fixation to 'mingle' no, to 'TRY to mingle'. I do my own thing nowadays and don't feel guilty about it at all. Haha. Now THAT is a break through. I think. *shrugs*

I'm set on doing my best for that TER96. I aim for 97 just to be safe. I've been setting my mind to this since the sem break but what really gave me an extra push was this thing that a lecturer mentioned during our briefing in the first week of my 2nd sem. She said:

"If you want something you've never gotten,

you must do something you've never done."

After she said this, it was all I could think of. I kinda closed into myself and pondered it for the rest of the dull briefing.

These words went right through me like an arrow. With it, my second thoughts of "can I actually make this happen? Can I really stop being a slacker-perfectionist-wannabe self that is, ME?" are gone.

NO, I am not the kind of person who believes/easily influenced by what motivators/speech givers say like most people. I've always had this belief that whatever this person-on-the-stage is saying, all of it has truths and fallacies like everything else in this world. But I do believe in the power of 'words', the unyielding simplicity of it. Which is another contradictory character of mine. To put it simply, I am resistant to being susceptible to words but only because I BELIEVE in being susceptible to words. Get it? No? Nevermind.

That aside, I'm happy. :) I am now a wannabe 'go getter'. Haha.

Yes, I still am a loner. A happy one who no longer obsess over trying to 'mingle' to 'fit in'.

To quote a friend of mine:

"kau harus teruskan hidup, dan jangan leka dengan semua hal-hal orang-orang kebanyakan. biarkan mereka dengan mereka. bukannya kau sombong, bukannya kau arrogant, bukannya kau berfikir kau lebih hebat daripada mereka, tapi sebab kau tahu, yang kau berbeza."

And thus, I hope I shall strive for greatness with a new zeal for the rest of this year.