I Hear You

It must be lonely out there,

It must be cold down there,

I yearn to tell you,

The coldness I feel it too.

But these barriers of mine,

Keep me from the door,

Like a silenced moor,

That pain of yours I abandon.

Forgive my cruelty,

But I can't show pity,

For I can't have your gratitude,

Not with my shallow fortitude.

Through these walls,

I hear your cries,

Through those sobs,

I lay awake.

A heartless stranger,

With your pain I'm too familiar,

Believe me dear friend,

I hear you.

________________________________________________

This is for you. Let those wordless tracks you adore sing your decadence.

Everything will be alright.

I'll be kind, I'll listen, I'll love

"There are souls that in their narrowness blame the whole world. But overwhelm such a soul with mercy, give it love, and it will curse what it has done, for there are so many germs of good in it. The soul will expand and behold how merciful God is, and how beautiful and just people are. He will be horrified, he will be overwhelmed with repentance and the countless debt he must henceforth repay."

(The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoevsky)

Because the things that I say, at any given time, means nothing these days.

But I'll say this:

If I actually do end up doing it, I doubt I'd be able to 'stow away' the notion of (well, you know). Because that would be the whole purpose of it. It would be what gives significance to what I'd do.

If God so wishes it, I'll do it. I'll be kind, I'll listen and I'll love. I understand though, the possibility of being disliked, prejudiced and even ridiculed. Hopefully, all of that would be something bearable or insignificant, to me at least.

I'd like to have the opportunity but I just don't know. More than anything, the possible fallacy of it, petrifies me. Your approval gave me more confidence but the uncertainty is overwhelming.

Because all this, might prove to be nothing but insipid tomfoolery. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.