A very unreasonable take on being 'reasonable'.

I've figured out what really triggered my lame 'Holden attack'. Y'know, the general 'the world is rotten' disposition.

It's the attack on the Freedom Flotilla and that particular discussion with that particular person, who is no longer an acquaintance of mine.

Really now. I shan't worry my silly little head and try to 'reason' with a person who sees only 'reason', when in fact all that, that person is, is 'blind'.

Because I care.

Thus I try.

And when I fail?

It hurts me.

Thus the mini Holden episode. I try my best to not be pretentious but I'm beginning to feel I may have mistaken 'vulnerability' or, say, 'eagerness' with it.

I'm also beginning to feel that it is not good to be too 'reasonable' because in pursuit of 'objectivity', a degree of 'detachment' which ultimately leads to one becoming 'ineffectual'.

WHICH, ironically, renders the said 'reasonable' person into becoming absolutely, utterly, 'UNreasonable'. Because when you forfeit humanity (which constitutes of feelings of empathy), then all that's left of you is...nothing. A shell.

A Holden attack

It's terrible. I'm having a Holden attack. It's been going on since last Saturday. I've a feeling this has something to do with that particular visit to a friend of mine.

Somehow, just about everything seems pretentious to me. Am not being egotistical about it either. I feel that I'm the most pretentious of all.

I keep obsessing about it. Mulling it over and over, thinking things like 'Do you really mean that?' whenever I say or even, think of anything. I kept thinking how pretentious expletives are. How pretentious italics are. How pretentious the word 'pretentious' itself is. How pretentious a million other things, are.

As I write this, I'm actually pretty sickened by how pretentious this whole post is.

It's like parallel lines. How it goes on and on forever. How in reality, parallel lines don't even exist!

Everything is 'phony'.

For writing this, I'm the biggest phony of all.