Omniscient

We are defined by the choices we make in life and man unfortunately (or fortunately, perhaps) are creatures of habit. We are defined by an innate pattern of reactions and responses to our environment. This, we call identity. A sense of self.

But of course man aren't that simple. A breach of our consistency occurs time and again. A relapse into other selves within us. These minority of selves are smothered by the dominant 'I', our most consistent pattern of behaviour.

All these are good. It makes man reliable, efficient, productive, predictable though ultimately, dull. I'm in a particularly existential mood this afternoon. Not that it matters much. All I'm saying is, I don't find people dull. Not always.

Then there's Fate.

What we do, one way or another will end up being the way that it is, was, will be. Does that not render these so called 'choices' we make only illusionary? Since, things are already ordained to be the way that they are & the choices that we make are deigned to be so. Not only it questions the extent of free will, it also suggests that Man are who they are because they simply are.

Of course, I'm perfectly aware that this does not, by any chance, give leeway to complacency, making it permissible. Complacency is bad. It does no good. It does nothing. Particularly so when certain circumstances requires a dire need of attention and appropriate measures to be taken.

After some reflections, I believe it's just one of the human things people do. Being non-omniscient, we...well, I wanted something...concrete. A sign. Just, something. Anything.

Enough, enough.

I'm just sore and disappointed due to a certain something that involves one of my apparent 'alternatives' being null. It is not meant to be. Still, when you give way to hope and expectations, disappointments are inevitable.

All this, whatever it is, is an accumulation of mixed feelings, shit I read & one pleasing and joyful although non-fruitful act of prayer.

Thus, I'm at a fork in the road. 'Middle earth', 'Home soil' or 'Half & half'. What will it be?