Tuesday, August 25, 2009

La Vita Nuova

Nero & Dante


Unfortunately, I'm done with DMC4. T . T It's sad. Of course, I'm playing it again in Devil hunter mode but still...I'm FINISHED. D:

One thing though, I've retrained myself and am now back in form. I hit SSS (Smokin Sick Style) in the combo gauge easily :) I rule. My thumbs are bruised blue. Heh.

Dante son of Sparda, I'll miss you.

Nero, I hate you less now :)



"La Vita Nuova"
(A New Life)






Sunday, August 23, 2009

Devil May Cry 4

I have a gazillion of assignments that needs to be done and several, yes, SEVERAL tests to sit for after my one week mid sem break. I should worry, but I'm tired. Simply tired. So, NO. I shan't worry. Not until tuesday at least. *sigh*

Ngeh. Enough of that, now, let's get to the good part.



I bought DMC 4. Finally.


Yes. I did. I got it for RM150.00 from the game shop in WARTA. The one on the second floor beside the school uniform shop :) Heeeeeeeeeeee~ I've been wanting this game since it first got released January last year. I haven't played a console game for around 8 months now. It shocked me senseless when I found out that I can't mash the buttons as fast I used to be able to. Yes, I am now a lame slow-button-masher. Which SUCKS. Period. I feel like such a...girl. Ugh.

Anyways, that aside. I'm now training myself to mash again. I miss Dante a lotttttt, I hate hate hate HATE Nero. He's so, POYO and EWW and sasuke-ish (Omg) , just plain NASTY. D: Like, how could he lay BOTH of his dirty feet on Dante's holy face?!!!! &!%#*@^#. Hmph.

I forgot how tough DMC's maneuvers actually are. Like, NOW it's kinda difficult for me to press Forward + R1 (on) L3 + ∆. Gah! I seriously need to retrain myself. Sheesh. Other than my lameness the game is fantabulous! and absoulutely spectastic. The graphics are oh-so-cool on my plasma Tv. I took some pics :D HAHA.

Here, have one.




So, I'm gonna ignore my college work and chill in front of the tv, play DMC4 and watch tennis.


P.S: The Cincinatti Masters (in Ohio) is on. Roger PAWNED Murray (Andy Murray) this morning. HAH. My beloved Djoker (Novak Djokovic) took out Rafa (Rafael Nadal) too :) Too bad for Rafa.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Euthanasia Blues



Today, we discussed Euthanasia a.k.a assisted suicide during Issue Analysis class. I never heard the term before and so, I found today's discussion enlightening. Ms.Albita showed the vid up there to us :)

'Euthanasia' from the greek word ευθανασία meaning 'Good Death' refers to the practice of ending a life in a painless manner. Specifically, we discussed human euthanasia, voluntary and non-voluntary euthanasia. Voluntary euthanasia meaning it is with the consent of the person to be euthanized and the latter being when an individual makes a decision for another person to be euthanized because he or she is incapable of doing so (e.g Comatosed).

This issue raised quite a debate but in majority, my classmates were mainly against euthanasia except for certain extreme conditions. Extreme conditions is pretty darn subjective too. All in all, we were as indecisive as the whole world currently are on the issue. There are too many variables to be considered and when human life enters the equation, it is rendered utterly unresolvable.

Those who were 'against' euthansia talked about individual rights. The main ideas being "Who are we to play god and decide he or she should die?", the possibility of a recovery on the basis of "You might never know" and "Miracles can happen" and "If I only have a {insert short period of time} to live, I would like to 'enjoy' it/be with my loved ones".


If I must choose, then I am AGAINST euthanasia.


Why? For all the reasons stated above.

One more thing, during the discussion somehow I ended up mentioning my late aunt who died of cancer. She was in great pain, was given morphine to curb it but ultimately she died a natural death. Before she breathed her last she was consious, got to talk to her eldest son and eldest daughter who came back from Australia to take care of her and recite the shahadah. The cancer had spread to her bones, her body was shutting down, I assure you, indeed she suffered.

Had my aunt been euthanized, she would not have had the chance to talk to her children, or recite the shahadah. As Muslims we are forbidden to commit suicide. Any suffering is to be endured for it is Allah's willing and so be it. In conclusion, in a religious point of view, as a Muslim, I suppose it is probably haram for Muslims to consent for voluntary euthanasia. I'm not sure for the non-voluntary type though.

As a side note, I found myself unable to speak of my aunt much, felt like crying and this reminded me of my cousins. How it must still bring them pain. Still vivid in my memory, the image of my aunt's eldest son as he dug his mother's grave during the funeral. His mud stained shirt. He did not cry during the funeral. Such strength, I mean , how would YOU feel if you were to bury your own mother? Unthinkable. Exactly.

Oh, yes. I forgot to mention a key point during my discussion in class. Our lecturer, Miss Albita, gave us roles to represent various point of views regarding euthanasia. We were divided into five groups namely the human rights organisation, the patient/sick people, family member, spouse and doctors. I was in the patient/sick people group.

Initially, the patient/sick people and the human rights organisation group were the only groups who stood for against euthanasia while the remaining groups supported it. After much discussing the outcome is as I have stated before: Mainly against euthanasia. Through this method of grouping we could analyse the issue in a rather thorough manner.

The groups who initially stood for supporting euthanasia brought up ideas of 'Mercy killing', 'monetory matters', and the redundacy of the existence of people who are in a coma or ones who suffers from PVS (Presistent Vegetative State). Or they would rouse ideas such as "I would rather die than suffer pain for a prolonged time". <---In my opinion this is stupid because I think nobody can actually preceive such a thing until they are actually in such a situation.

To delve deeper in this isuue, mentioning Terri Schiavo's case is a must. Check out her story, and if you will, I would like to know what you think of euthanasia. What is your stand? For? Against? Somewhere in between?





UPDATE: Uh, I might've caused some confusion. By "assisted suicide" I meant PHYSICIAN assicted suicide. =.= As in, doctor assisted suicide usually performed on terminally ill patients. Terminally ill patients are those who're expected to have only UP to 6 more motnths to live.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Hamilton


I just found out that my freak of a brother cycled all the way to Hamilton from Toronto, Canada. Which is approximately 65.8km. Is he not cool? I think he is. Though my mom went, "Gila ke?" I suspect she's just worried that he might get into an accident or something.

(That's his precious racing bike there...)

All this began when my dearest brother become fascinated by the famous cyclist Lance Armstrong. He bought himself a $1000+ racing bike and apparently, started cycling all over the place. I think this is a good hobby for him. He might stop being skinny and have real muscles or something. Haha :P

Due to Abang's mysterious blog disappearance, I took the liberty of blogging this for him. Heee~

Align Center
(He's on top of the world~~~!!!)

(Which he taped while he's on the bike...=__=; Ajaib sungguh tak jatuh.)

P.S: Abang, kerjalah rajin2 di IBM. Jangan asyik naik basikal jerrrr. <---Pesanan yang Mama most probably nak sampaikan kat abang :)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Phrazes For The Young.



Jules (Julian Casablancas) of The Strokes has a SOLO album. A SOLO album. SOLO. Titled: Phrazes Of the Young. It will be released Fall THIS year! Yes! Yes! SCREAMMMMM!!!! HAHAHAHA. *ahem* He even has his own SOLO website now!


After YEARS of SILENCE. FINALLY! SOMETHING from Jules!!!!! xD Ngaaaa~~ Just the preview of the album is that cool. I am excited as heckkkkkkkk.

Now, the EPIC interview:



Isn't Jules simply beautiful? Course he is. Says he likes Star Trek haha.

The Remedy

Apparently I might have dengue. But, nah. I don't think so. I mean, I don't think I have them dengue symptoms. The doctor merely assumed I might have dengue because several cases of dengue fever has surfaced in Shah Alam. I mean, all she did was took my temperature...asides giving me some tissue to cough in. And a bunch of medicines and 2 days MC (which I am very VERY grateful for).

So yeah. I feel horrid but I ain't complaining. As long as my blood test turns out okay I shan't be hospitalized and I'm fine with that. I'm planning on gettin' better by tomorrow so that I don't even need the blood test anyway. So, yeah.

One thing I like is, the cough medicine! Love it lots. Why? Because it helps me sleep :) Wondorous indeed. Like, I haven't been needing Jason, or Tchaikovsky, or Julian or David, or the oh so gay 'Michael' to sing me their respective lullabies for 3 days straight now. 3 DAYS! Hah.

Hooray for the remedy: COUGH SYRUP.


Yes, yes, Alex has nice legs, Adila.

P.S: Get this. If you play 'Michael' backwards there's a backmasked message that goes "She Worries About You. Phone Your Mother." Go on. Click the link. Cool huh? Bet you didn't know this. Wiki it if you don't believe me. Heh.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Out Of Control




Look at the time. It's half past 1 in the morning and I refuse to sleep. Not now anyway. I'll describe a few things before I continue:

-The air conditioner is turned on. It's way too cold.
-I'm in my older brother's room. It's cramped and messy in here.
-I brought back tons of books from college intending to read them all even though I won't be able to. I shall have to lug all of them up 5 freaking flights of stairs to my hostel tomorrow.
-I now own a to-do-list book. I've been making lists of everything.
-When I go to bed I shan't turn the lights off. My eyes is burning.


There you go. Done. Now...:

-I chose to be cold. I want to remember being cold at home when it's 100 degrees in my claustrophobic hostel.
-I miss my brother. I can't stand being in my room knowing I don't live there anymore.
-I hate studying in my hostel.
-I make lists because they give me the impression of being in control of everything. And I mean, everything.
-I chose to sleep with the lights on, I want to see the walls. I turn the lights off when I sleep in my hostel because I don't want see those walls that are not mine.


I've had enough of this. Enough of feeling wrenched off of my liberty to do things I like whenever I like in my own room. My OWN room in which I can be alone, eat alone, study alone, sleep alone and hang out with my family when I don't want to be alone anymore.

In college everything is routine to the max. I sleep at 12.30 I wake up at 5. Cold shower. Bus. Class. Chocolate milk for lunch. Pataya fried rice with mango juice for dinner. And it repeats. On and on. And everywhere, there're other people. PEOPLE. OTHER people.The orderliness of my daily routine is getting out of control.

Wanna know something that is worse?
When I play the piano I feel sad & angry because I know I can't run my fingers on those ivory and black keys everyday anymore, because I can't play it when I feel sad or angry, because it no longer can make me feel better.


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

18/20.

Got back my ESLS (English as a Secondary Language Studies) pairwork essay assignment this morning. The one about The Wimbledon Championships :) I got 18/20. Heh. I am very pleased with it indeed.


Nyahaha. Anyways~ I have another pairwork essay. This time around, the topic that I chose is to compare two gaming platforms. I decided to pit the Sony PlayStation 3 against the Nintendo Wii. Hoho. Ergo the title is: PlayStation 3 VS. Nintendo Wii.


I love that the topics my lecturer give, (so far) always have ONE that suits my interests. Which is cool. Nothing could be more dull than having to write a 600 - 800 words essay on a topic you have no interest in...except for watching paint dry maybe. That would be excruciatingly dull.

So, ONWARDS with my essay writing~

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Merely Human

I am here right now, at this particular moment because for no apparent reason I suddenly feel incredibly alone. No, it hasn't got to do with me being back in college. I'm done with homesickness. I feel nothing.

I'm parched and somewhat disturbed though generally comfortable but most of all I feel...deserted. I've no idea why. No, I'm lying. The impetus of this sudden and obnoxiously 'empty' feeling is. Of course, how can I possibly type that out. I consider myself sort of well-adjusted with enough tact (when it comes to dealing with other people) though I'm most certainly not socially apt enough to appear as a 'social' person. I always have been and always will be a loner. Probably.

I do notice, by far, how most people I've met recently find my silent presence companionable. So far 4 people out of, hmm I think around 12 people who've sat beside since I start college laid their heads on my shoulder. We barely know each other. I don't really talk all that much with strangers. Yet they're comfortable enough to express such an affectionate gesture. On all of these occasions I distinctly remember thinking:

"Physical contact...I don't even know you. But if it makes you feel better...It's fine I suppose. Still, I find this very awkward. Don't you? *glances at the particular person* Guess not."

Hmm...but then again perhaps such things are normal after all. What do I know?

I am most definitely not fond of large crowds. Crowds make me think of 'Clutter'. They clutter my eyes, my ears, my mind. To me, a 15 people is a crowd, heck 6 is a crowd too. 5 is somewhat crowded. 3 is ideal. 2 is, personal, intimate. Mind you, all these numbers is me included.

I like to let my mind wander. When I go to the mall which isn't my favourite place obviously (which I usually only go to in order to purchase books or catch a movie) I like to observe things and think of the details. Fleeting and little intricacies fascinate me. Say, if I see an old man buy a flower from a gift shop, or a book perhaps, I would contemplate the reason of his purchase.

"Is it a gift? or is it for himself? is he alone? why did he pick that book? or that flower? Why that colour anyway? what does he do for a living? Is he healthy?...etc."

Most people would probably categorize this sort of behaviour as 'nonsensical and utterly useless'. But hey, if it amuses me, who are they to judge me? I live in this time, in which the world is wrought with 'personal needs/demands', my fleeting thoughts of others might actually do some good. Haha. Yes, yes I'm justifying my queer (or not so queer) little hobby.

Are you catching up? I am lonely. I've felt this way quite a few years now. No, I'm not that lonely. I have some friends and a great family. But I have yet to feel the connection. Someone who truly understands. Naive I am not, I know most people probably feel this way.

To be confided in,
to be trusted,
to be missed,
to...matter.
Whispers nought can hear.

Oh God who is All knowing and Forgiving, I am, merely human.